Penis Envy

Penis envy is a term coined by Freud to partly explain why women are as they are. He believed that not only does the penis turn up (as it were) again and again in our subconscious, it being a symbol of sexuality and of power, but also that women feel an acute sense of lacking this organ.

Penis envy in a literal sense would mean women wish they had one and will always feel at a disadvantage for being without. If boys define themselves as male because they have a penis, then a girl is defined as female because she doesn't. Females are non-males. Missing something important. Lacking.* . In a less literal but no less real sense, penis envy is not wishing one had that extra bit of flesh but rather wishing one had the privilege that seemed to come with it. Women in Freud's time were not so much the weaker sex as the weakened one. With being very much subject to their husbands or fathers, I am sure the advantages bestowed upon the penised people would have been a greater source of envy to the women of Freud's time.

Personally (and I say this is a Psychology student) I think Freud was talking a load of hooey. Freud's assertions said a lot more about Freud than they ever did about people in general. We all know that men are extremely fond of their bits. Men form a lasting relationship with their little friend and also, virility, sexual prowess, length and girth all contribute to men's sense of self and their gender identity it is true. I am sure men would find not having a penis a great loss indeed, but that doesn't necessarily mean women want to have one when we've never had one in the first place.


However (yes, however. This is where I get personal) I do feel an element of envy, despite me saying Freud overestimated how generalisable his introspections are) I confess I DO feel a sense of envy.

It's an ingenious piece of design. A urine delivery tube that can be aimed away from the body at almost any angle makes urinating in the open considerably more convenient for the male than for the female. When I was 18 I spent a summer looking after two girls aged 8 and 10. When the 8 year old informed me of an urgent need to pee (we were miles from the nearest loo) I pointed here in the direction of a dense shrub and instructed her to go there. 'Look out for nettles and make sure you face downhill' I advised.
When she reappeared from behind the shrub I could see she was about to burst into tears. It turns out she had (to her own surprise) weed sideways and straight into her new shoes. I looked at her socks and they were indeed dripping. We were several miles from home but she (still crying) squelched back with us for a change of clothes.

Boys never suffer this indignity. As a girl you learn bladder control by necessity. Every boyfriend I've known has been pathetic at being able to hold it in. As a girl you become selective about where you go to pee. We have to make more contact with the grubby petrol station toilets than men ever do with their point and shoot system and also, they can go anywhere anyway. The world is their urinal.

When the Sous Chef and I are out cycling, his pee stops to mine number about 5:1. A combination of bladder control and opportunity. I remember one day in particular when we always seemed to be in wide open countryside with not so much as a dandelion to crouch behind. I've been jabbed by thistles, brushed by nettles and had to crouch behind a patch of trees that had houses in the distance. Not so close for me to be arrested but close enough for anyone with good eyesight to have seen me with my arse very much hanging out.

I have had enough of this indignity. I can stand no longer to be jumping from foot to foot when we stop for his pee stops and I can see no cover anywhere for me to hide behind. We are going to be cycling/wild camping in Scotland for two weeks and so I have invested in this:



I'll let you know how I get on. (no pictures though - The whole purpose behind that purchase was to preserve my dignity)


*I could never get on with this idea of the penis having/not having being a defining feature. Even as a child I knew I was female because I possessed female attributes not because I lacked male. Removing the penis does not make a boy a girl. You might as well say men are just women without ovaries.